Are you afraid to open your financial statements for March? Have the recent market gyrations triggered a sudden interest in Xanax? Nonstop news cycles and social media postings have spawned massive overreactions to every comment made by political or business leaders. Down drafts of 1,000 points can cause even the most seasoned investors to panic. Over the past two months I’ve had to curtail my exposure to the business networks. Watching the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunge 700 points at 2 P.M. can make me feel as if I’m about to go into ventricle fibrillation. I’d rather stay in normal sinus rhythm.
Sadly, that is not a joke. I have a vivid memory of sitting at a stoplight in Little Rock, Arkansas, on October 19, 1987. It was about 5:30 P.M., and I was headed home from my office. Over the car radio I heard, “The Dow Jones Industrials are down 517 points.” I distinctly remember thinking, “Oh, he’s reading that wrong! The DOW couldn’t possibly be down that much.” It was.
Shortly after I arrived home, my beeper went off. One of my favorite patients was in the emergency room (ER) with a massive myocardial infarction. George A. was a 76-year-old gentleman from Hope, Arkansas. He had grown up in poverty but had educated himself and built up several successful businesses. He was bright, witty, charming, dapper, and gracious. But on that day, George A. had lost over a million dollars, at least on paper. He was devastated.
I grabbed my bag and raced back to the hospital. We got George admitted to the cardiac care unit (CCU). His electrocardiogram (EKG) looked awful, and he looked worse. He was utterly convinced that one dreadful day on Wall Street had destroyed his future. Around 8 P.M., George become very ill (coded). We worked on him frantically for over an hour, but we couldn’t bring him back. There was no doubt in my mind that the thought of financial ruin had literally scared George to death. I felt numb.
Later that week, two of my colleagues committed suicide. They had also lost a fortune, at least on paper. Everyone was stunned and afraid that week. One year later, however, the market had recovered nearly all of its losses. Thirty years later I still mourn the loss of three good people. For all intents and purposes, they died from acute financial panic.
I am no financial genius. But forty years of investing have taught me a few lessons that may help someone else:
Don’t watch market moves minute to minute. Before long, you’ll need heavy sedation.
Don’t dump stocks when everyone is panicking. You’ll almost always miss out on the best part of the recovery phase.
Remember the wisdom of the ancient Greeks: Moderation in all things. Balance stocks, mutual funds, bonds, certificates of deposit (CD’s), cash, real estate, and precious metals based on your age, health, family needs, and risk tolerance.
Don’t give in to ignorance, laziness, fear, or greed. Sixty-six percent of millennials have nothing stashed away for retirement. Failure to invest is one of the greatest mistakes of all.
No matter what happens, avoid the temptation to overreact. You are infinitely more important than your financial statements.
Now take a deep breath and open the statements from March. Steady as she goes. You’ll be fine.
Do you take care of patients? Are you in a position to teach students or other caregivers? These days, everyone in healthcare is simmering in a sea of policies, protocols, rules, regulations, and algorithms. Some of them are reasonable. A few even make good sense. Unfortunately, however, many of them are downright dumb. Often, by the time someone reaches the lofty position of creating assorted rules and policies, she has lost touch with her sector of the real world. The results are not good.
In recent years I’ve been sidelined with a growing list of autoimmune diseases. I used to joke with audiences that with red hair, green eyes, and see-through skin, I was a walking collection of recessive genes. It’s not a joke anymore. Being in constant pain and steadily losing functional ability is not fun. However, in my new role as “patient,” I have learned a few things that are not taught in most training programs.
In the hope that it might help a few other folks, here’s some of what I’ve learned:
Sunshine is our friend. Over the years, I’ve spent far too little time outdoors. I was a sickly little kid and a natural-born bookworm. From the mid-1980s on, I was afraid of “skin damage.” Swell. Now I have decent-looking skin but my musculoskeletal system is so badly compromised I struggle to get in or out of a chair. Please encourage patients to get some fresh air and sunshine on a regular basis — especially if these patients suffer from any chronic illness. Vitamin D supplements are fine, but they can’t undo the damage of decades of deficiency.
Small comforts matter. The point of health care is to relieve pain and suffering. Many of our colleagues have apparently forgotten that. Computers can provide information. They cannot provide comfort and consolation. There is a true art to easing another person’s misery, and it usually involves small, simple measures. “Hugging” a king-size pillow while lying on your side can ease pressure and strain on shoulders, elbows, and knees. Massaging a nicely-fragranced body butter into hands, arms, legs, and feet before bed can help ease the achiness that accompanies chronic illness. It’s not a substitute for proper medication, but these measures can provide a few moments of respite.
Being squeaky clean feels good. I was obsessed with hygiene even as a little kid. But chronic pain and illness can make taking a shower, washing your hair, and brushing your teeth feel like a triathlon. Nearly anyone who has had the flu can relate. The most simple measures can make a difference:
Change pillow cases every 12–24 hours. I did this for patients when I was a nurse’s aide 45 years ago. I do it for myself now. If feels nice.
Step up oral and dental care after meals and before bed. This feels nice, too. And, there are discernible medical benefits.
Try a shower in the morning and a warm bath at night (as long as it’s safe). Baby wipes, facial wipes, and dry shampoo are essential for travel and chronic illness.
Never wake a sleeping patient for vital signs. I can hear nursing instructors screaming right now. However, if a patient is sound asleep, her vital signs are probably fine. Despite all of our impressive technology and sophisticated medications, we have found nothing more restorative than good, deep sleep.
If policies and protocols eased misery, everyone would feel fine by now. Sometimes what we need is a bit of common sense.
It happened again. Seventeen precious lives were snuffed out by a vicious young man. Before their bodies were laid to rest, “experts” began screaming at one another on TV. However, finger-pointing, shouting matches, and emotional rants do not solve problems. Thoughtful, well-informed, practical strategies solve problems.
Clearly what we have been doing to prevent school shootings has been inadequate. The reasons are myriad.
Gun control laws are flawed. I’ve long been baffled by the fact that there are more restrictions on me as a physician prescribing four ounces of cough syrup containing codeine than there are on a violent teen buying an assault rifle. Most reasonable people would probably agree: This makes no sense.
Counseling is a fine endeavor. We need more of it. But caring, prudent advice will not stop slaughter. It’s impossible to reason with someone who is irrational.
School security needs attention. In Israel, schools are locked at the final morning bell and teachers with military training carry hidden weapons. We now have hundreds of thousands of well-trained veterans who could help secure schools and do data mining of social-media sites to enhance intelligence analysis. Why are we not enlisting their help?
Over the past 30 years, children have been exposed to tremendous levels of violence on TV, in movies, and perhaps most intensely, in video games. Here there are no consequences to killing, apart from racking up points. Many kids who have been left to fend for themselves never have been taught to respect another person.
Additional resources providing better security, practical law enforcement, and sensible mental health care are needed almost everywhere. But one devastating flaw remains. Many people realized the shooter in Florida was dangerous. The police had been called multiple times over the years. He had beaten his mother and reportedly tormented and killed small animals. His social media postings threatened murder. Other students feared him and school authorities expelled him. The FBI failed to follow-up on two credible reports.
Why do any of us fear getting involved in difficult situations? It’s simple. We’re scared to death we might be sued. We’re afraid of revenge or even the possibility of being called “mean.”
Many years ago, I had to confront a serious situation in a training program. Patient safety and professional standards were on the line. I took action I deemed necessary and was clobbered with a lawsuit along with several other faculty. It made our lives a living hell for nearly five years. Other physicians and administrators simply looked the other way. They suffered no retribution. Some of us did what we believed was right. Some chose to remain silent.
On February 14, 2018, many people did the right thing. Some of them died trying to save others. None of us is off the hook here. Fear can have fatal consequences. Courage is the antidote.
While some memory loss — such as misplacing the car keys or wondering where that library book is — happens to people as they age, the memory loss associated with Alzheimer’s disease (AD) and other dementing illnesses is far more dramatic, severe, and progressive.
Memory loss is one of the distinguishing symptoms of AD, and it influences other aspects of the disease as well. Memory loss affects communication because the individual begins to forget words and, over time, loses the ability to read and write. Memory loss also affects mood and behavior because patients inevitably become frustrated, angry, and depressed as continual and worsening lapses impair their ability to think and function effectively. Several medications have been shown to slow memory loss and other cognitive decline. Many professionals also believe that exercises designed to stimulate memory, including memory enhancement and reality orientation exercises, may help slow deterioration somewhat. However, these exercises are demanding because they need to be repeated several times a day, and it would be helpful if caregivers could enlist the help of friends and relatives to work with the patient at specific times of the day or week.
Short-term memory loss, that is, loss of memories of events that occurred from several seconds to several days or weeks ago, is the first type of memory to become impaired with dementia. Patients may forget that they just finished a meal, or that a favorite cousin just paid a visit. Loss of long-term memory, memory for events that occurred months or years ago and that also involves remembering how to perform basic tasks such as cooking and dressing, is affected during the middle and later stages of the illness. The effects of memory loss cut across every aspect of the lives of people with AD and other dementias, affecting their ability to communicate, work, enjoy free time and relaxation, and care for themselves. In the later stages of illness, individuals lose their ability to recognize their spouses, family members, and friends. They forget how to bathe, dress, feed themselves, and use the toilet.
Has your home returned to a relative state of post-holiday normality? I’m almost there. The boxes and bags and bows and ribbons have been put away until next year. The “thank you” notes are in the mail. And my kitchen table has been restored to an acceptable state of neatness.
Many people will start to focus on new year’s resolutions now, knowing full well the resolutions are unlikely to last. I have a different tradition at the end of December. It goes back quite a few years. In a reflective state of blissful solitude, I write down my own little “year in review.” It takes some time, thought, and effort, but it’s an exercise that can generate some profound insights.
What were the best or most positive events of 2017 — personally, nationally, and globally?
What were the worst or most tragic events of 2017 — personally, nationally, and globally? How did I cope or respond?
What event or situation made me feel most grateful?
What was the most beautiful, unusual, or remarkable sight I saw in 2017? (Personally, it would be difficult to top the perfect, unobstructed view of the total solar eclipse I had from my own backyard in August 2017.)
What was the biggest mistake I made in 2017? This one can be tough and sobering.
What was the most important lesson I learned in 2017? It’s often related to the biggest mistake I made.
What experience or moment touched me the most deeply?
What was the most noble, courageous, or generous thing I did in the past year? Coming up short on this one is not a good sign.
And finally, what could I do in 2018 to become a better person — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?
The little, personal “year in review” may not be as fascinating as a list of the year’s top news stories, viral videos, or celebrities who have passed. It will, however, become profoundly revealing to you 10 or 20 years from now.
Are we there yet? I wonder as I stare at my kitchen table covered with gift bags, wrapping paper, bows, ribbon, tape, and scissors. Every year, I tell myself I’ll cut back a bit next year. It never happens. The pressure starts with Christmas-in-July sales on shopping channels. I confess I find it difficult to resist. I love buying and wrapping presents for people. It truly makes me happy, especially when someone is genuinely surprised and delighted. It’s a constructive way to take the focus off myself.
This year however, something feels different. It’s been a tough year with historic, natural disasters. Devastating hurricanes, floods, tornadoes, earthquakes, wildfires, and blizzards have wreaked havoc on tens of millions of people. Mass shootings, riots, and appalling, vicious acts of violence have left most of us stunned and horrified. My heart breaks for all of those who have lost loved ones and homes. How I wish I could ease their anguish.
I cannot restore lost loved ones, homes, and treasured possessions for people in California, Texas, Florida, and Puerto Rico. I can write a few checks and say a few prayers. Those are good things to do, but they never seem to be enough.
Then it dawned on me. There are lots of people suffering all around us every day. They just don’t appear on the evening news. Here, in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, there are nearly 2,500 homeless teenagers. That seems ironic in a town that’s largely focused on tourism and fun. I decided to give some money to my almost-adult niece and nephew. I gave them instructions to go buy clothes for homeless teenagers. I have no clue what teenagers would want or need, but my niece and nephew do, and they did well. Unloading their bags full of jackets, hoodies, sweaters, socks, underwear, scarves, and hats, they announced they “had a blast” doing it. Surprise! Thinking of other people can be fun.
My kitchen table is still a mess. But this year, I realize how blessed I am to have a kitchen, messy table and all.
Did you survive Thanksgiving without major family stress or tension? If the answer is “no,” you’re not alone. Holiday gatherings don’t always bring out the best in everyone. Some folks are already frazzled by travel nightmares. Those hosting the feast are tense and worn down by days of planning, preparation, and cooking. No one ever has quite enough room in her kitchen for all the food, much less the guests who congregate in the middle of the mess. There’s nearly always one culinary mishap and someone is sure to announce she has a life-threatening allergy to gravy.
But wait! We haven’t even begun to address deeply ingrained differences in political perspectives, religious beliefs, and good, old-fashioned feuds and grudges. Was all of this supposed to be fun? Fortunately or not, many of us will have another crack at family festivity soon as we try to celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah. I have a few time-tested thoughts that might help—at least a bit.
Psychologists tell us that it takes 21 days to replace a bad habit with a good one. That means we have just enough time to make a difference. Starting now, try not to criticize, condemn, or complain. It’s not easy, especially in this culture. However, it will make the next family gathering much easier to endure, if not actually enjoy.
Remember some basic neurophysiology. The human brain cannot hold onto diametrically opposed emotions simultaneously. We can’t feel love and hatred at the same time. We can’t feel empathy and anger in the same moment. And we can’t experience gratitude and resentment all at once. It may sound simplistic, but gratitude is often the best remedy for resentment, anger, anxiety, and sadness. Those of us who have food, water, shelter, clothes, electricity, a little money, and a few loved ones have more than hundreds of millions of people around the world. Smile and say “thank you” — a lot.
Forgive yourself and everyone else. I’ve watched relatives feud for decades. They make themselves and everyone else miserable. None of us is perfect. We’ve all said and done things that were misguided or thoughtless. However, refusing to forgive is like drinking poison. It makes no sense. Forgiveness represents the ultimate act of overcoming ego. Let it go. LET IT GO!
Please don’t make me sing that song from “Frozen.” I have relatives who would never forgive me.
“Anyone who believes in God is stupid.” This statement was among many posted by the monster who murdered 26 innocent people in November 2017 in a Texas church. The victims ranged in age from 18 months to 77 years old. Eight members of one family were killed, 20 people were wounded. No one had a chance to hide or escape.
The man who committed this atrocity had been seething with anger and brutality for years. There were many red flags. He had received a dishonorable discharge from the Air Force and served time for assaulting his wife and child. His attack was so brutal, the baby suffered a skull fracture. He was known to have beaten and starved his dog. Any man capable of beating a woman, a baby, and a dog does not turn into a decent human being after 12 months in prison. The many pieces of this puzzle are already coming together.
In the realm of religious thought and theology, anger is considered one of the seven deadly sins. Unjust anger, if allowed to smolder, can lead anyone down a vicious path of destruction.
In the realm of clinical medicine, anger and hostility are considered the two most deadly and dangerous emotions. Those of us in health care encounter angry, hostile people almost every day. In fact, all of us encounter angry, hostile people with increasing frequency. Anger triggers a flood of potent hormones and neurotransmitters that can literally change brain function and even brain structure if the process lasts long enough.
However, pathologic anger, violence, and evil do not exist in a vacuum. There are always warning signs. All too often they go unnoticed or unreported. Most of us have been well-schooled to “mind our own business.” After all, we don’t want to be called judgmental, and we certainly don’t want to be sued. But considering the horrific happenings in Columbine, Aurora, Sandy Hook, Fort Hood, San Bernardino, Orlando, Las Vegas, and New York, it’s time to rethink a few things.
Folks in law enforcement have been begging us for years: “If you see something, say something.” That advice sounds painfully simple, but simple things often save lives. Most of us know when something’s not right. We need to trust our instincts.
The good people of Sutherland, Texas, trusted their instincts hours after the massacre. In response to unfathomable evil and anger, they held a candlelight prayer vigil. That doesn’t sound “stupid” to me.
Making that assumption is human nature. Tragically, as people in London, Manchester, Brussels, and Berlin have witnessed, ordinary assumptions can be deadly.
Survival requires alertness. It always has. It always will. There has never been a shortage of danger in the world. The nature and complexity of threats have evolved over the millennia, but certain principles of survival endure. Being mindful of your surroundings is one important principle.
Mindfulness is not new. Nor is it merely a pleasant pastime. “Being in the moment” is a good way to slow down, enjoy a meal, or notice a full moon. It may, with practice, help reduce blood pressure and stress. That’s nice. However, in an age when deranged fanatics and terrorists can wreak massive devastation in minutes, mindfulness can save lives.
An off-duty police officer is still a police officer. The same is true for health-care professionals. The next time you’re out in public, be it in a classroom, a café, or a concert hall, practice some mindfulness that really matters:
Be alert, be vigilant — pay attention to people and things around you — not your devices. Do not “zone out.”
Scan the area for possible exits. It is human nature to leave a place the same way you entered. This can be a fatal mistake in a fire, a terrorist attack, or any catastrophe.
Resist the temptation to follow the crowd. Panic-stricken people can be exceedingly dangerous. Be mindful of alternate options for escape. Being trampled to death is not a good option.
Cultivate enough silence in your daily life to foster good instincts and intuition. When seconds matter, this can save lives.
The principles of mindfulness have been practiced and promoted by some very wise people over the centuries. It is curious that a step on the path to enlightenment may be the most crucial survival skill of all.
Millions of people around the world were stunned by the horror of the Las Vegas massacre. The magnitude of the attack was staggering. However, it was the cold, cruel, calculating mindset of the shooter that left us speechless. Normal, decent human beings are not capable of grasping that degree of unmitigated evil. And yet, as the days passed, stories of stunning courage, heroism, and compassion emerged.
Police officers stood up amidst crouching civilians trying to discern the shooter’s location, making themselves targets. At least two men were shot while performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Scores of people used their own bodies as shields to protect loved ones and even strangers. And quick-thinking, brave people fashioned splits, tourniquets, and stretchers from anything these people could find.
Several victims survived, in part, because combat veterans inserted their fingers into bullet wounds to slow blood loss.
Many individuals demonstrated compassion, courage, and creative thinking, transporting victims to hospitals. An Iraq war veteran “borrowed” a truck with the key in the ignition and shuttled 30 people to the emergency room (ER). A cab driver passing by scooped up a young woman with severe wounds. In the back seat, his passengers cradled her as they raced to the nearest hospital. In a moving demonstration of selflessness, many of those injured or wounded declined ambulance transport or emergency care in deference to those in even more serious condition. As one of the ER triage physicians said, “I’ve never had such wonderful patients!”
All of these stories are remarkably reminiscent of the kindness and heroism displayed by people in the aftermath of the Boston Marathon bombing. Countless people donated blood, water, food, accommodations, time, and money to assist victims, family members, first responders, and medical personnel.
Truly evil people always want to aggrandize themselves, often through unspeakable violence. But violence has always been the last refuge of the coward. And, as we’ve witnessed in Las Vegas, one cowardly act by a monster inspired a thousand acts of compassion and courage. May God heal and protect all the good people who endured so much and helped so many.