Not for Party People

Posted Posted in Brain Science, Continuing Education, Homestudy, Psychology, Seminars, Webinars

By Mary O’Brien, M.D.

Another year is drawing to an end.  All across the country, folks are stocking up on beer and bubbly for their New Year’s celebrations.  Parties and parades, festivities and football will steal the limelight for a few short days.  But before long, the frivolity will fade and people will settle into their dreary routines.  New Year’s resolutions will be broken as quickly as they were born.  Soon another year will slip silently into oblivion.

All of this can get downright depressing if you really stop to think about it.  I mean — have you ever taken time at New Year’s to evaluate your life?  Are you accomplishing your goals and living your dreams?  Do you even remember what your goals and dreams are?  What wonderful things did you accomplish this year?  Are you a better person than you were 12 months ago?

I take these questions very seriously.  But then, I’m not a party person.  New Year’s has always been my time for taking a personal inventory, a self-assessment of growth and progress.  Having worked with older patients for decades, I’m convinced this exercise is not in vain.  People don’t stay in neutral long.  They either move forward, or they slide into reverse.  But the laws of physics hold fast.  Going in reverse is no problem.  It’s easy and requires no effort.  Going forward requires thrust or energy.  And each one of us must supply our own.

Conducting an annual self-assessment will not appeal to whiners and wimps.  And it’s probably not for party people.  It demands integrity, self-discipline, and drive.  After all, the whole point of this exercise is propelling oneself toward some pretty lofty goals.  Blaming others or the culture for one’s own faults and failures defeats the purpose.

Each of us has different challenges, circumstances, and goals.  My self-assessment questions have served me well over the years.  You may need to amend them, but see if they don’t get you thinking:

  1.  How many books have I read this year?  Did they really sharpen my thinking?
  2.  What are the most important lessons I learned?  Have I put them into practice?
  3.  Did I take good care of my body and health?
  4.  Did I give my family the time and attention it needed?
  5.  Have I learned a new skill or expanded my fund of knowledge?
  6.  Have I further developed a talent I already have?
  7.  Did I devote enough time to my spiritual life?
  8.  Did I try to make life better for others?
  9.  What did I do to invest in my future?
  10.  When I reap what I’ve sown, will I be happy with the results?

This New Year’s review may not be as scintillating as champagne or as fun as football.  But its effects will last a lot longer, and you won’t wind up with a headache!

It’s Almost Here!

Posted Posted in Brain Science, Continuing Education, Psychology, Seminars, Webinars

By Mary O’Brien, M.D.

It’s almost here.  The lines in stores are growing longer and the traffic is becoming heavier.  Yes, it looks as if the annual Christmas crunch is upon us.  Before long, tired travelers will descend upon weary relatives and everyone will feign a friendly, festive front.  By the month’s end, bulging waistlines will battle burgeoning credit card bills for the top spot on the list of holiday headaches.

It seems to get worse with each passing year, and yet sensible solutions elude us.  Which customs would we cut?  Whose relatives would we not visit. What expenses should we forego?  Is it possible just “to say no?”

In recent years, I’ve learned to do precisely that.  After one too many miserable holidays attempting to accommodate everyone, I finally found a better solution.  I simply do what seems — sane.  Some might say my solution seems silly, but you can judge for yourself.  The following are my custom-made commandments for a calm Christmas.

  • Thou shalt not spend more than thou hast.
  • Thou shalt do thy Christmas shopping in September.
  • Thou shalt mail Christmas cards and packages early.
  • Thou shalt honor thy need for quiet time.
  • Thou shalt not be pressured to party.
  • Thou shalt not suffer the company of negative relatives.
  • Thou shalt read something inspiring each day.
  • Thou shalt eat less than thou wantest.
  • Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s decorations.
  • Thou shalt do something nice for thy neighbor each day.

I’m particularly partial to that last one.  How different would Christmas be, if everyone all over the world, did something unexpectedly nice for someone else everyday?  Something tells me that’s a lot closer to the true meaning of Christmas than overloaded credit cards and unrestricted appetites.  Silent night.  Holy night.  All is calm.  All is bright.  Maybe there’s a message in those simple lyrics.  I’d like to think so.

 

An Old-Fashioned, Counter-Cultural Approach

Posted Posted in Brain Science, Continuing Education, Elder Care, Homestudy, Psychology, Seminars

By Mary O’Brien, M.D.

Are you already worn out from holiday activities?  There is Thanksgiving travel, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and reports of morning, noon, and night sales hitting record levels.  The cold and flu season is well underway, and millions of Americans are totally tuckered out.  They will, nonetheless, try to sustain this frenetic activity for another month.  There is an alternative, old-fashioned, counter-cultural approach.  It’s called Advent.

Long, long ago, before people had electronic devices surgically implanted into the palms of their hands, they observed a quiet, disciplined period of waiting for Christmas.  The word, “Advent,” is from the Latin word “adventus,” referring to the arrival of a significant person, time, or event.  Over the centuries, Christians developed the practice of spending the four weeks before Christmas in prayer, fasting, and giving alms to the poor.  It was a way to discipline themselves, physically and spiritually.

Many of our grandparents were very serious about this tradition.  They waited to put up a tree and decorate it until Christmas Eve.  The 12 days of Christmas were actually celebrated from Christmas Day to January 6th, the Epiphany, or arrival of the three Wisemen.  Today, Christmas-in-July sales have us in major shopping mode for half the year.  Many people are tired of Christmas long before it arrives.  By the time credit card bills arrive in late December, very few people are ready for any sort of Epiphany, spiritual, or otherwise.

There are some healthy, helpful things any of us can do in the spirit of Advent.  Most folks want to find meaning in their lives that extends beyond acquiring money, stuff, and titles.  Nonstop, frantic striving can only distract us for so long.

  • Before the holiday craziness consumes any more of your mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual energy, consider a slightly different approach to December: “Fast” from all electronics for one hour a day (while you’re actually awake).  This will reveal volumes about where you are in life.
  • Practice the old-fashioned discipline of giving up candy, sweets, desserts, etc. The first bite of your favorite holiday treat will taste heavenly.  Chances are good that you’ll drop a few pounds in the process.
  • Avoid spending money on fancy coffee, eating out, alcohol, and other little indulgences; give the money you save to help a family devastated by the recent natural disasters.
  • Do something nice for someone else — anonymously.
  • Do something nice for someone you really can’t stand.
  • Invest 15–25 minutes each day in prayer, meditation, contemplation, or spiritual reading to focus on what matters most to you.
  • Make a serious effort to replace cynicism and sarcasm with gratitude and gentleness.

If all of us did even half of these things for a few weeks, the ripple effect would be immense.  Advent.  It’s an old-fashioned, counter-cultural approach.